No Gray* Area ...

Awhile ago my good friend Kenny Rogers made this list of things to be her friend. And I like this list a lot. I also like her a lot:

1. You have to support the players club and not mind that I am the President
2. You have to be funny--or at least appreciate funny things and think I'm funny
3. You have to fall in public on purpose at least 10 times
4. You have to say things like "fat-sack-o-fat" etc.
5. You have to not say that I have man hands even though that has been allowed once
6. You have to be cute/pretty--no offense
7. You have to think I'm cute/pretty
8. You have to like pretty much all of the same movies I do and enjoy watching them more than once (eg. Love Actually, Where the Heart Is, Garden State, Peter Pan ... And also things like Flight of the Concords and Arrested Development)
9. You have to think sleepovers are the funnest things ever
10.You have to have a distinct appreciation for both make up and hair dye
11. You have to like beer and wine and vodka ...
12. You have to be able to say you've smoked a cigar more than once, not puked and wanted to do it again
13. You have to not say that my toy poodle looks like a rat (even if she does, she's 17 years old and I still love her and she's sometimes really cute). But you can yell at her sometimes.
14. You have to be able to be both quiet and loud and both at the right times
15. You have to laugh at inappropriate times and do inappropriate things to make me laugh
16. You have to like going to movies
17. You have to like dogs, but not think all dogs are equally cute and on that note, you shouldn't ohhh and ahhhh over all babies and you should know that some babies are ugly and all crying babies are annoying
18. You have to like getting dirty on occasion
19. You have to like going to the beach day or night
20. You have to have an equally deep appreciation for both 7-11 and Starbucks
21. I would prefer that you know self defense but if you don't I would be willing to teach you out of my plethora of knowledge on that subject
22. You have to not bring up the fact that I only got a C in self defense
23. You can't say that I wouldn't be able to beat you up -- that hurts my feelings
24. You can't be too nice but I would like it if you would pretend to be too nice just to make me laugh
25. You have to be mad at the same people I get mad at
26. I would appreciate it if you don't often tell me what to do -- that a good way to be cut from this team
27. You have to let me rant and rave about being single every so often because really I don't do it very often and when I do, I don't want to hear that "there's someone out there for you" and "maybe you should get out more"
28. You have to like being outside but not think you're so great because of it
29. You can't be too granola -- seriously ... I mean, come on ... People who start boycotting Starbucks and think they're so great and think I should hike more -- they're not my type
30. You have to talk about working out and sometimes work out but be willing to stay home and watch a movie instead
31. You have to understand that a good motivation for working out is new work out clothes
32. You can't think I have too many shoes or jackets
33. You shouldn't lecture me on either environmentalism, the third world or poor people
34. You shouldn't think that you should eat everything on your plate because some people can't afford to eat at all
35. You should care about the world
36. You should be motivated, have ambition etc. ... But in the end be as immature as I am
37. I like good car dancers (and Anika's the best of all) but probably wouldn't make that a rigid qualification since I'm not a good car dancer
38. You should like the same kinds of music I like and introduce me to new and wonderful music 39. You shouldn't like the movie Shrek or if you do, you shouldn't think I'll like it. And don't quote it -- that's dumb.
40. You shouldn't let your house get so dirty that it smells like garbage
41. You shouldn't go for more than 3 days without showering
42. You shouldn't think its a good idea to go as long as you can without showering (I think I was temporarily insane when my boyfriend did that to win a bet and it didn't bother me)
43. You can be Christians but not the crazy kind
44. You have to be able to make fun of Christians on occasion
45. You shouldn't be offended when I say either "bugger" or "bloody hell" because those are 2 of my favorite expressions
46. You have to think IKEA is a good date spot
47. You can't think that grocery shopping (especially at either Save-On or Superstore--both places I hate going to) is a good date spot
48. You have to be willing to at least talk about driving to Disneyland today -- and I mean now
49. You can't care that I've been all over the world
50. You should appreciate the joke -- well half-joke -- that "we're the best, funniest, most talented, smartest, etc. people in the world"
P.S. You must think the penis game is extremely funny and celebrate March 14 annually

* I spelled 'gray' like that instead of 'grey' because Grey's Anatomy is the most boring show every in the history of the Earth.