not skywalker

my name is anika. a-nick-a. not a-neek-a ... and yes, people HAVE told me before that it's like annikin skywalker. but i'm not.

Monday, July 28, 2008

It's Free

I have so much joy in this little heart of mine.
And I want to cultivate it.
I want to give it to you in a beautiful bouquet
I want to sprinkle it in your hair
Sometimes when you just let it all out, even when you think it's going to be the hardest thing in the world, telling your story is healing ... restoring ... reviving
And you're left -- not in ruins like you'd imagined -- but left in closeness with loved ones, and feeling like maybe you aren't as bad as you thought.
And you realize that truth will set you free.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Hiding Under A Rock ... Of Love

Reasons why I love Rock of Love II:

1. The girls are so classy, and also not desperate.

2. I don't know who Bret Michaels is, or what band he played guitar / drums / sang / was a roadie for.

3. Many (most) of the girls are teetering on the edge of a complete mental breakdown and the anticipation of this is killing me.

4. The phrase "I feel a connection with you, Bret, do you feel a connection?!"

5. I believe Bret Michaels every episode when he says that letting one of the girls off the show was the most difficult thing he's ever had to do.

6. I don't think any of the girls could spell 'Bret.'

7. I think the come-back "she's just jealous because I'm hotter than her" is witty and also very clever.

8. I like the fact that there is a Rock of Love I and a Rock of Love II, both with Bret Michaels.

9. Will there be a Rock of Love III? We can only hope.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Loose String

Yesterday I received a love letter from my husband -- he sent it in the mail to me! Probably one of the BEST SURPRISES EVER!

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Hello, My Name Is ...

I'm sure you recall that I don't have a good track record with spiders. Last week I found a spider on the table. He* was about the size of my thumbnail, but as you can imagine I was stricken with terror. When I shrieked he changed his stance from casual-sauntering-spider-just-crossing-the-table to that of I-may-need-to-bite-and-kill-this-human-PREPARE-TO-ATTACK!

Obviously this spider was unaware that my nine-year-old is no longer scared of spiders. Take that! He killed the spider with ease (mocking my fright and laughing).

And then he said, "that's my favorite kind of spider."
"What kind of spider is it?" I asked.
"I dunno," he replied, "but I always call them 'Charlies."

And now whenever a spider is mentioned, he asks if it was a Charlie.

*I surmise that this spider was a he

Friday, July 04, 2008

My Cousin Vinny

That's the movie we watched last night. I'd never seen it before. Jay always mocks me because of my taste in movies and hates watching movies with me because I always love the lame ones.
When Joe Pesci arrived on screen I recognized him at once and thought for a second to place where he was from. "That's the guy from Home Alone, right?" I said.
And Jay replied, "this is why I love watching movies with you."

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? and other questions

How do I tell my father that even though he apologized for being a shitty (translation: chicken shit and selfish son-of-a-bitch) father, I don't really have any desire to have a relationship with him? That the damage has been done and I'm quite happy without his involvement in my life and my family's life?

I don't want to be mean ... I think I have forgiven him ... I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings, really ... I'm not angry ...
I just don't want him in my life. I have a dad. My kids have two wonderful grandfathers. My husband has a father-in-law.
And there is nothing positive that comes out of having my father involved in our lives.

But how do you tell someone just that without really hurting them?