Dear Red Jeep Driver:

You are my arch enemy and nobody wants to be your friend. And the last 3 letters of your license plate are 'FEM.'

Offense #1: You cut me off. Thank you, though, for putting your turning signal on at the very last second and thus giving me the opportunity to slam on my breaks so as not to hit you. On my list of arch enemies, you are one of the more thoughtful ones.

Offense #2: It was a cloudy day. You had the top down and everything that could possibly come off your vehicle, off your vehicle.*

Offense #3: We were on the freeway. Your hair did not move (see offense #2).

And I know you caught the daggers moving swiftly from my eyes to yours when you glanced in your rearview mirror.


*disclaimer: I'm sure if I had a convertible, I'd take advantage of it as much as possible. But I don't have one.