Proof

Proof that clowns are indeed creepy and scary: The movie 'It'

Proof that mail-order brides are alive and well in Canada: our landlord and his wife (Dear Landlord: To hide this secret better, it'd be a great idea if you could just try a little teensy bit to be attractive. No more coke bottle glasses, no more loud hawaiian print shirts, no more fanny packs, no more white socks pulled up to your knees with sandals.)

Proof that I am gullible: Janie: "This is the slowest elevator in the world" me: "really?"

Proof that the tooth fairy is a bitch: she forgot -- FORGOT! -- to leave money under Jacob's pillow last night! He even left her a note explaining that he couldn't find it. I told him she's probably just looking for it and I'm sure there will be money there when he gets home from school (there WILL).

Proof that God loves me and wants me to be happy: my friend brought me a Starbucks card the other day for no reason.