Darker Days ...

"Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, if you turn to Him then with praise, you will be welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away."
~C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

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Maybe I didn't deserve love ...
Maybe I was the whole problem ...
Maybe I wasn't nice enough ... thoughtful enough ... funny enough ... pretty enough ... smart enough ... good enough ...

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I am getting tired of
Dragging myself through the day just to get to the night
Staying awake at night just waiting for the morning
And trying to just get through the day again