Nothing To Sneeze At* ...

Right now, I just about got brutally murdered by a horrible beast. I can hardly even talk about it without wailing and weeping. I was even too afraid to sing the "Spider Spider On The Wall" song!

My office is in a basement and therefore is susceptible to horrible things like spiders and cobwebs and mice and ... waitaminute, maybe I actually work in a dungeon!

Anyways, I digress. You all remember The Incident, right? Well I'm here to tell ya, the spider sent his nephew to do away with me once and for all. But I'm not going to let that happen, friends! No I'm not!

So when I went to the toilet and casually glanced into the bowl whilst entertaining thoughts of urban-legends-of-snakes-or-alligators-or-spiders-or-Sasquatches-sneaking-up-through-the-sewage-pipes-to-bite-me-in-the-bum**, I saw him. Crouched in attack position in the toilet bowl was the nephew of the big-and-hairy-and-black-and-I-might-be-a-tarantula-and-bite-you-and-kill-you spider! I AM SERIOUS!

I kept calm and didn't scream. And by "didn't" I actually mean "did scream really loud and lept back in horror."
I flushed him. Please note that I had to be brave and heroic and reach over the toilet bowl to reach the flusher-thing. The spider swam for dear life, cursing and yelling at me, and the world waited with baited breath until the spider finally got pulled beneath the water and out of sight.

Now I have nowhere to go to the bathroom.
But I have prevailed against the spider kingdom again!
Once and for all I have won!

Now I have to sit with my feet up on my chair at my desk for fear of even more retaliation.




* I got this phrase from Shari, who I love and who makes me laugh all the stinkin' time
** good alliteration, no?