I Would Like A Treat ...

Tonight Jacob will be trick-or-treating as a Ghostbuster. And Joel will be Slimer* because who wouldn't bring their six-month-old trick-or-treating so that they could eat his candy? It will be fun except for the fact that it's raining, in which case Dad will get to do the honors ...

Also? I am hopelessly addicted to Picnik. It's ridic, but I can't help it. And I am over my Twilight addiction because, frankly, Bella annoys the hell out of me.




*also from the Ghostbusters, for those of you who don't know, and by 'don't know' I mean 'don't have a husband who goes to great lengths to make sure the Ghostbusters name tag is in exactly the same font as in the movie because if it isn't, what's the point of even dressing up at all?!'

And Furthermore!

So I must have struck a chord here, and believe me ladies, I am with you all the way ... I have never seen anyone rolling on the floor laughing (unless you count it when my ten-year-old is being tickled) ... And do people seriously say 'LOL' in conversation?! That is just plain crazy.

Here is another thing that really annoys me, kind of in the same strain as using numbers (i.e. 4get, 2gether, b4) ... Purposely spelling things wrong. WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU EVER DO THIS???

No, I am not JELIS ... I understand the 'ea' and then the 'ou' is extremely hard to conquer, but COME ON!
I have never THOT it was cool ... *sigh*
TONITE ... Is it that difficult to put the 'gh' in there?!


I am a stickler for spelling and I don't even understand why someone would do this to my little heart.

Laugh, Dammit.

The only thing worse than a 'lol'* ... Is a 'lololol' ... Because what is that?

I will do the occasional ':)' ... And maybe even ';)' from time to time ... But I just can't bring myself to do a 'lol.' And does 'LOL' mean you're laughing more? Or louder? Or that you're just yelling 'LAUGHING OUT LOUD!'?

It has been said that you should rather say 'lqtm' (laughs quietly to myself). It's just a more accurate description.







* Reason being, I am skeptical that you are, in fact, laughing out loud. Are you laughing out loud?! ARE YOU?! I didn't think so.

The Moment It Hit Me ... Part II

*sigh* It gets worse than this.

Last night I re-discovered* that I know all the words to Gangsta's Paradise. It was a beautiful reunion in the car, and by 'beautiful' I mean 'I was rapping right along with Coolio, and I am white, and I was in my mom-car.'


Power and the money , money and the power
Minute after minute, hour after hour
Everybody's running but half of them ain't lookin'
What's goin' on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's cookin'
They say I got to learn but nobody's here to teach me
If they can't understand it, how can they reach me?

See? I told you I can rap.


P.S. Here is the video. I can't make fun of it because there is nothing funny about someone rapping at Michelle Pfieffer in a dark room.


*I say 're-discovered' because didn't everyone know all the words back in the day? And by 'in the day, I mean 'when there weren't so many movies about a teacher helping underprivileged kids who eventually succeed and it's heartwarming and halfway through the teacher wants to give up, but doesn't.'

I Am Single Handedly Ruining The Environment

Disclaimer: If you are avid about saving the environment, you might not like me after this next post. I'm sorry. I like the environment, of course, but I like hot coffee even more.



A few weeks ago, my sister and brother-in-law returned from their honeymoon in Mexico. My sis had said in an email while she was gone that she missed Tim Hortons'* coffee, among other things. So on my way to pick them up at the airport I dropped by Timmy's** to get her a coffee. "Could I please get it double-cupped?" I asked the lady at the counter.
"You can have one of these," she responded, handing me a sleeve.
"Um, is it ok if I just get it double-cupped? It's for my sister and her plane just landed, so I want it still to be hot when I get it to her," I said.
"That's fine," she said, dropping an extra cup on the counter for me, "I'm just trying to save the environment."


Dear Tim Hortons lady,

I'm sorry.

Love, Anika

PS No I'm really not.





*that link is for those of you who (to my utter horror and dismay) do not know what Tim Hortons is.

**slang for Tim Hortons

Eating As A Form Of Torture ...

One of the saddest things I have ever seen is my six-month-old baby eating carrots. Or rather, us trying to feed him carrots.

Because he doesn't like them.*

And poor little Joel turns his head away with blatant disdain. And then his bottom lip starts quivering. And then he looks back at Daddy (who happens to be feeding him because I refuse to because it's too sad) with wide, heartbreaking little eyes, his bottom lip still quivering ever-so-slightly, with an expression that says 'Dad, how could you do this to me? I thought we had an understanding ... I thought you loved me ... I thought I could trust you ... I feel so deceived ... How ... Could ... You ... Do ... This ... To ... Me ... ?' And Joel repeats this once or twice -- all the while, Daddy offering the spoonful of carrots in front of him -- And then Joel looks away again and starts to whimper a soft, heartrending little cry.



And is it mean that I took a video of this with my camera? Perhaps. But at least I'm not the one trying to feed the poor little guy carrots.



*understatement

The Moment It Hit Me ...

... That I'm a geek:

When I was in the car a couple days ago and 'Straight Up' by Paula Abdul* came on the radio and I knew every word of it -- Every. Single. Word. ...

Are you more than hot for me?
Or am I a page in your history
Book, I don't mean to make demands
But the word and the truth go hand in hand
How about some information Pleeeeeeeeeeease (Please, please a-please-please)

*sigh*





* I added the link to the music video for your viewing pleasure. And by 'pleasure,' I mean 'Paula and a human version of Mr. Peanut -- complete with top hat and cane, wearing a trench coat, but without the monocle -- and if you call this pleasure, then you're sick. Totally sick.'

It's A Good Thing I Wasn't PMS-ing ...

So I got a cute zip-up hoodie from my sis for my birthday. It's super cute and I love-love-love zip-up hoodies (who doesn't?) ... It was a size large, which usually is perfect. But this hoodie was a tad tight, so I thought I'd exchange it for the size bigger so that if it shrunk a bit (it is cotton) it would still fit nicely.

I went to the store and took a look at the other sizes to find that they only had small and extra-small left. So I went to the girl at the counter to ask if they had any in the back. "What size are you looking for?" she asked.
"Extra-large," I responded.
"Ohhhhh," she grimaced. "They don't even come in extra-large."
I laughed.



Dear Roxy,

So now you only make clothes for skinny people?! What, clothes don't even COME IN SIZES BIG ENOUGH TO FIT MY BODY?! AM I A MUTANT, THAT YOUR DAMN CLOTHES AREN'T MADE IN SIZES THAT WILL FIT ME?!

Love, Anika

A Few of My Favorite Things ...

- going to bed when I'm tired into nice clean cold sheets and a cold pillow

- wearing a scarf on a cold day

- drinking a fresh cup (or two or three or twelve) of coffee when I get up in the morning. With just the right amount of Coffeemate and sugar.

- getting the mail

- Hearing Jacob and Jason come through the front door home from school or work. And standing at the top of the stairs with Joel, who wiggles and squeals in delight because he thinks they're chasing him up the stairs.

- sitting in the cold rink drinking my hot cup of Tim Hortons, watching Jacob play hockey

- putting on makeup

- feeding Joel food, when he bites the spoon and gets his little mess everywhere.

- having family dinners

- reading a really good book with the fireplace on, wrapped in a warm blanket ... with no kids around.

- making Joel laugh. He smiles easily -- he is such a friendly little guy at six months old. He is a delight.

- having friends over, playing games, listening to records, sitting on the couch and talking

- counting down the days till our best friends come to town.

- taking pictures, capturing wonderful moments, suspended now forever in time

- shopping with my mom

- planning our future

- eating ice cream with nerds in it

- loving with my whole heart

What The World Has Been Waiting For ...

This is what I got you for Christmas.




You're welcome.

20 Things I Have Learned In The Last Two Years ...

1. Grandparents have very romantic stories ... More on that in future posts ...
2. I'll admit it (I already have) ... I'm excited for Rock of Love 3 ... Rock of Love 2 was almost too much to handle. It was the cream of the crop, as far as trashy tv goes.
3. My natural hair color is actually not bad. I had been dying it since I was a teenager ... Weird.
4. My hair, partly because of genes, will also never be thick and luscious and bodilicious ... Cute hair will have to suffice. And changing hair is definitely funner than leaving it the same way for EVER.
5. I can shoot a Colt Carbine (9mm semi-automatic rifle) with 100% accuracy. Not too shabby!
6. I can't go into Costco and spend less than $200.
7. It is worth it to say the truth. The truth really does make you free.
8. We're here for a good time, not a long time ...
9. Some of the happiest people are people who don't have a lot ...
10. I always thought marriage would leave me trapped. But instead, it gave me wings (marriage = Redbull?)
11. In a situation where there is imminent danger, where I have to act within a split second and be held accountable and scrutinized for every action I take, I don't clam up or hesitate ... I'm your girl!
12. If there's ice cream in the freezer, I'll probably eat it. And I don't even really like ice cream (exception: Marble Slab's Birthday Cake ice cream with Butterfinger and raspberries)
13. I really am not one of those crazy parents who takes their kids' sports too seriously ... You know, the ones that yell at their kids and get stressed out at sports games? Yah.
14. Most of the time church has nothing at all to do with God. And that is one of the most difficult places to find Him.
15. There is simply no thing that gives me more joy than seeing my kids happy**.
16. I like learning. I need a change of scenery and a new project every once in awhile.
17. I'm not responsible for other peoples' stupid mistakes ... And they don't reflect on me.
18. As crazy as it may sound, labour was one of the most beautiful and precious memories I have ever had.
19. I am so thankful for my family, and the close-ness we have now. It took awhile to get here, but it was worth the wait.
20. Peace, joy, love, freedom ... These things come when you stop looking desperately for them. And they taste sweeter than I ever could have imagined





** sidenote: I was flipping through the radio channels and heard this on a program: "I think my favorite phrase from the book is 'an unhappy child is a healthy child' " ... What?! ... Thinking they must have a reeeeally good explanation for this I continued listening ... Nope, they didn't even qualify it!! My kids are healthy and happy, thankyouverymuch. [rant over]

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish!

Fish are a strange pet to have. They always seem like a great idea. They seem fun. You think you'll be happy to have fish.

But then -- you can't even pet them. You can't interact with them. They're most of the time boring to watch. They die all the time. And who wants to clean the tank?

Jacob had fish when he was three or four. Three fish. I told him that he could name them and he did: House, Fence and Dad. I don't think he really got the gist of naming things. One day he brought me a baby bottle with all three fish inside it. All three!
"How did you do that?! How did you get all three of them inside there?!" I asked.
"Easy," he replied, "I just caught them with my hands."
Eventually the novelty of the fish wore off and we got rid of them. Jacob didn't even notice.

A couple years later we got him more fish. He loved them. And when they died I kept buying more before he could notice that one had died.
"Look how much he grew!!" Jacob would exclaim.

We ended up with one fish. And nobody cared.
Until.
The fish died. He was floating near the top. Sideways. We were busy and lazy and nobody really wanted to clean up the stupid mess. And it's a good thing we didn't.

Because the fish rose again!!! We re-named him Jesus.
And soon the novelty wore off again and we gave him away. Jacob didn't even notice for two weeks.

Now he wants a puppy.