Extremely Important Questions.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most? I hate paying Terasen gas the most because it's stinkin' expensive, but now that I have a new place I don't have to pay it anymore :)

2. What's the best place to eat a romantic dinner? Well ... maybe at the beach. Or at a little restaurant where just the two of you go. And it's like Your Own Place.

3. Last time you Puked from Drinking? Quite awhile ago ... Sometimes you grow out of stages in your life, you know?

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar? Ummm ... Last time I danced on chairs at the bar was with Phil. Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy is our song because the first time I met him he marveled that I knew all the words.

5. Name of your First Grade Teacher? Mrs. Jackson and I so much loved her because she gave out scratch & smell stickers.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now? I want to be at my house with my friends making them dinner and drinking wine and laughing.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up? I have wanted to be a counsellor since I was young. I'd still like to work with teenagers.

8.How many colleges did you attend before you settled on the one you graduated from? I only went to the one I graduated from ...

9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now? Because it's so cute and even though it's a little white tank top and I'm guaranteed to spill coffee or something on it? I like it.

10. Gas Prices! First Thought? Fecking feck.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would you go and who? I'd take Jacob because he's my obvious choice. But since he'd be coming anyways, I'd choose my sister or Phil. And I'd move somewhere fairly close by.

12. First Thought When the alarm went off this morning? "Jacob needs to write something more on his card for his teacher than 'Dear Ms. Potevelnikov [that's really her name], I don't believe you can see through walls. Love Jacob.'"

13. Last thought before Falling asleep last night? "I'm so excited for this long weekend!"

14. Favorite style of Underwear? Thong. Sorry, but it's just more comfy.

15. Favorite style of Underwear for the opposite sex? Boxer briefs.

16. What Errand/Chore do you despise? Washing dishes by hand. Tanks God for my dishwasher.

17. If you didn't have to work would you? Yes but not here.

18. Get up early or sleep in? I don't mind getting up early.

19. Your Favorite Cartoon Character? Stewie from Family Guy.

20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy? is? Walk on the beach. Ugh I am so cliche.

21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing? I don't really have any secrets ... I'll try to think of one ...

22. What was your First Car? A Buick Skylark named Otis

23. Your Best Your Mamma Joke? I just think "your mamma" is funny in general.

24. Your Favorite Lunch Meat? Cervalet

25. What do you get everytime you go into a WAWA? Is that like Won Won?

26. Beach Or Lake? Either

27. Do you think Marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20? Mmmm ... Not really. I value the idea of two people making the statement of love for each other and committing to it.

28. Who do you stalk on myspace? My friends ...

29. Favorite Guilty Pleasure? London Fogs from Starbucks.

30. Favorite Movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about? Disney's Alice In Wonderland. I pretty much have the whole thing memorized. But I think everyone knows that already ... I really like Elizabethtown and I get a lot of grief about that one ...

31. What's your drink? water

32. Cowboys or Indians? I love Gino Odjick and he's an Indian. But I also love cowboys. So I was going to marry Gino and have a Cowboys and Indians themed wedding. A good idea, no?

33. Cops or Robbers? Cops.

34. Do you cheer for the bad guy? No but I cheer for the underdog.

35. What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best? Drew Barrymore.

36. If you had to pick one which cast member of Lost who would you be? Maybe Claire because I like that name and she had a baby and she's nice and sometimes I'm nice (but sometimes only nice in my heart).

37. What do you want when you are sick? Drugs

38. Who from High School would you like to run into? My best friend Alanna because catching up with her is always the funnest ever.

39. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now? I think the Beat 94.5 because I was listening to the Promiscuous song.

41. Stiffler or Oz? Ummm ... The Wizard of Oz freaks me out because of the midgets.

42. Norm or Cliff? I don't know ...

43. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons? The Simpsons

44. Worst Relationship Mistake that you wish you could take back? Giving people or relationships a second chance. It bites me in the ass every time!

45. Do you Like the Person who sits directly across from you at work? The wall is across from me. Yes.

46. If you could get away with it who would you kill? Mmmm ... I wouldn't.

47. What Famous person would you like to have dinner with? Jim Carrey even though he's dating whats-her-face now.

48. What famous Person would you like to sleep with? IIIIIIII don't know ... Maybe that Jake Gyllenhal or whatever guy because yum.

49. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose? No ...

50. Last book you read for real? DaVinci Code. It's alright ...

51. Do you have a teddy bear? Uh no. I think teddy bears are annoying.

52. Strangest Place you have ever brushed your teeth? I have those Brush Up things ... So anywhere I can ... Once I saw a whole family in their car driving and flossing their teeth.

53. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go? I think I've been everywhere there that I even know of ... But I'd like to go back.

54. Number of texts mgs in a day? I average 800 a month, sent & recieved. So divided by 30 is ... 27ish per day.

55. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or relationship? Either. Hopefully I'm starting a new career verrrry soon! I could give or take a new relationship.

56. Do you go to church? Sometimes.

57. Pencil or Pen? Pen.

58. Describe your favorite Day? IIIIII don't know. I like most days.

59. How many jobs have you had? McDonald's, Red Robin, La Senza, Winners, here. 5.

60. What would be your "dream job"? Working in a high school.

61. What do you want to achieve in life? Love.

Roses are Red ... Diamonds are Blue ...

Yesterday I met Ant who is totally hilarious and fun and amazing. His bravery of going skydiving puts my Drop Zone extravaganza to shame, I'm tellin' ya. We gallivanted around Vancouver ...

***

I got my first piece of mail at my new place! Thanks Nikol!

***

Five Little Monkeys Jumping On The Bed ...

Some people wear their heart up on their sleeve, I wear mine underneath my right pant leg, strapped to my boot.
(Ani)

***

The dumb thing to do is to care.
And so I wash my hands of fuckwits everywhere.

***

my doctor: So since you broke up with your boyfriend, have other guys started to call?
me: ... No.
my doctor: Really? None?
me: Well, no, a couple have. But none that I really want to date right now.
my doctor: I knew it wouldn't take long for them to come out of the woodwork.
me: ...

***

I'm going to see Ant tonight (that is, if he made it through skydiving alive)! I'm so excited!

Oh I'm Not Done ...

I feel like this again today and I don't need to make excuses because this is my space to write and I don't care if I look silly and I don't care if you think I'm a bitch and I don't care if you think I'm dumb and I don't care if you read this and report back.

Because I don't. Fucking. Care.

How To Get Over A Guy Part II

Since at least 6 people per day Google "how to get over a guy" and find my blog, I thought I'd add some helpful hints to Britton's original list. So here we go -- more helpful hints:

- cry a lot
- drink wine
- watch Sex & The City
- don't watch the episode where Carrie and Aidan finally break up
- buy all 6 seasons of Sex & The City on Ebay
- move into a really cute apartment and banish all ex-boyfriend paraphernalia
- cry
- believe your gay friend, when he kisses you on the lips, that you made him straight
- run away to Seattle and visit Shari
- pick up where you left off as a Make Out Bandit
- surprise yourself by laughing accidentally
- save a small space in your heart to believe, even though it's against all odds in your life, that love might be out there
- write to Jim because he's funny and sarcastic and has good points
- let Firefighter Jen and others bash the ex-boyfriend to hell
- make new friends
- be honest, but not explicit, with your son about how you feel when he asks -- he may surprise you with a picture, or by silently putting his hand on your shoulder as a symbol of solidarity
- let the people who love you take care of you
- learn to play poker
- learn your lesson once by mixing 222's, alcohol, muscle relaxants, and SSRI's

Employee Of The Month ...

I hung all of my necklaces (and earrings) in my bathroom ... Becausethat'ssomethingthatmakesmehappysothere (still loving the new place, by the way!) ...


Jacob's birthday party was this weekend ... It went really really well -- we all had an amazing time. Only one instance that required a bandaid! Jacob got chased by girls, I made mom-friends, and we had water fights galore ...


And then? Krista, Carmon and I tried to make slushies with her brand! New! Slushy machine! How long does it take two blondes and a redhead to figure this machine out? Well ... Maybe we DID get the gist of it and maybe we got bored of trying ...

However. Our new friend Everett helped us at the Self Checkout by charging us for carrots when we were buying coarse salt. Because that's what helpful employees do.


And then I sort of learned how to play poker. I sneakily stole $3 from Krista's boyfriend. Because that's what good poker players do.

Freudian ...

"We were playing girls chase boys yesterday and I was telling Melissa to kick me but by accident I told her to kiss me ..." That's what Jacob said to me this morning.

Dear God Part II ...

Dear God, I know I asked you this before, but I have some additions ...

Please send me a husband (boyfriend) that looks good in a cowboy hat (except now that I'm not into cowboys just a baseball hat will do) and is tall enough for me to wear high heels with and who my stepdad likes and who is fatter than me (and by 'fatter' I don't mean 'fat'. I just mean someone who's not skinnier than me) and who likes beer (but isn't an alcoholic, please) and who is happy in pictures and who Jacob loves so much and who makes me laugh (but not just in a polite you-were-trying-to-be-funny-so-here's-a-pity-laugh kind of way) and who likes to spend money (like me ... and on me) and who has the same spiritual and moral beliefs and who loves hockey (and fights in hockey) and who wants four more kids and who is protective and who will stick up for Jacob and I (but not confrontational or cocky) and who my sister doesn't have to be wary of and who is sensitive (but doesn't cry all the time) and who thinks I'm beautiful (even when I don't feel beautiful) and who is not selfish and whose mom doesn't make his lunch everyday even when he's in his 30s and who doesn't need big toys to compensate for other things and who means what he says (and doesn't just b.s. me all the time) and who does what he says he is going to do (and isn't all talk) and is truthful and who is not a quitter OR a loser.

Thank you again.

Love, Anika

I Don't Have Much To Say Today Except This:

I got asked to dinner by a cute boy.
I finally did my taxes yesterday.
I keep having coincidences in my life to do with a certain number and day, and Phil thinks this means I'm on the right path ... I think he might be right.
I had Janie and Andrew for dinner last night. We ate on the floor.
I still can't get enough of this song (Independence Day by Ani Difranco). Listen to it here.
It's not my fault my ex-boyfriend turned out to be a 'useless fucker' (thanks Jim!).
I have amazing friends.
I think every little thing's gonna be alright.

Dear Life,
Whoot again.
Love, Anika

You Say The Coast Is Clear But You Say That All The Time ...

I feel good that I've moved and that I have begun a routine in the mornings for Jake and I ...
I liked sitting by myself in my family room last night. Reading. Thinking ...
I like doing my dishes and turning off all the lights before I go to bed ...
I threaten that if he gets out of bed one more time he'll be in big fat trouble ...
I put up my shower curtain and swept the floor ...
I make coffee in the morning and drink it while we make our lunches ...
I love it.

But what if I can't afford groceries?
Or my rent?
What if I crash and burn?

Congratulations Carolina

That's all.

Movin' Movin' Movin'

I moved this weekend. Yessiree. I am now in my verrrry own little basement suite with Jacob. And. I. Love! It!

You simply must come visit me. Call me to get the address. I'll cook for you. Right now I have coffeemate, brown sugar, cheddar cheese and freezies because that's the kind of groceries you have when you've just moved.
Moving: 1
Anika: 0


And I heard the Promiscuous Girl song a lot. I danced a little bit. And Paris Hilton's new song. What does 'other boys want to take me for a ride' mean?

And yesterday while I was unpacking I reflected on the fact that it was just such a meaningful day for me, being Fathers Day and all ...

I got to use the company truck to move. It looks like this (disclaimer: that is not my actual truck). I kind of looked like Jasper & Horace from 101 Dalmations when I drove it.

I have no boxes left to unpack.
Moving: 1
Anika: 1


And tonight? The Oilers are going to win the cup because they are Canadian and that's the way things go ... Muahahaha

LOVING This Song:

Independence Day (Ani Difranco)

we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp
on the 4th of july
we sat out on the hood with a couple of warm beers and watched the fireworks
explode in the sky
and there was an exodus of birds from the trees
but they didnt know, we were only pretending
and the people all looked up and looked pleased
and the birds flew around like the whole world was ending
and i don't think war is noble
and i don't like to think that love is like war
but i got a big hot cherry bomb, and i want to slip it through the mail slot
of your front door

you can't leave me here
i've got your back now
you'd better have mine
cause you say the coast is clear
but you say that all the time

so many sheep i quit counting
sleepless and embarrassed about the way that i feel
trying to make mole hills out of mountains
building base camp at the bottom of a really big deal
and did i tell you how i stopped eating?
when you stopped calling me
and i was cramped up shitting rivers for weeks
and pretending that i was finally free

and you can't leave me here
now that your back
you'd better stay this time
cause you say the coast is clear
but you say that all the time

we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp,
on the 4th of july
and i planted my dusty boots on the bumper and sat out on the hood,
and looked up at the sky

Read Disclaimer First ...

disclaimer: Some people will read this and think "fecking get over it already" ... Think whatever you want; This space is for my thoughts and I know that I'm not a blame-everything-on-my-parents kind of girl ...

Well? It's Fathers Day coming up. I could (and will) laugh about celebrating Sperm Donor Awareness and how shucks, it's my absolute favorite day of the year.
But truthfully? Truthfully I fucking hate it.
I hate it because Jacob has a father that ditched out on him. And I hate it because I have a father who also decided that other things were are more important than his family. And he's continued to be selfish and put everything before his daughters since. I can't speak for my sister, but I can say that I feel a void; I feel like an orphan.
And it sucks.
And it's always present.
Maybe it had an effect on all my relationships from there on in.
Maybe it didn't.
The thing is, I was recently abandoned in a relationship I thought was going to last. It made me think (as it did the first time) that maybe the reason I was left was because of something I did -- I didn't set the table right, I didn't go to sleep right at bedtime, I left my toys out in the playroom, I didn't make my bed ... I didn't do enough thoughtful things, I didn't talk to his family enough, I didn't send enough nice text messages, I wasn't thin enough ...
Was it me?
Is it me?
Is there something about me that makes me not quite worthy of love?
Why am I not good enough?
These things plague me especially on Fathers Day. And moreso this year because it is a fresh wound.

Leave A Message After The Beep ...

Well guys?

I'm sorry for being kind of mundane today. And recently.
The thing is that I've been some of the time just concentrating my energy on getting by and surviving.
And I am going to be ok.
But this is one hell of a trip I'm on and who even knows where I'm going to end up.
So bear with me.

But I-*click*

I am an emotional-money-spender.
I have been a bad, bad girl.
My step-brother and his wife had their baby.
It was a boy and his name is Ezekiel.
I might move to my new place as soon as this weekend.
Any suggestions for a name?
I was thinking 'deRaad Pad' or something completely ridic like that.
Are any of you strapping young lads wanting to help me move?
I will love you forever.
Maybe.

Moving Right Along ...

I got custody of all my friends ... He got custody of his friend. Bwahahahahahaha ...

Butanyways.

Yesterday turned out to be a great day because even though I started out feeling boring? And even though it was kind of a mediocre day?
I! DIDN'T! CRY! ... Can you even believe it?!

And I moved some of my stuff to my new place! And it's such. A. Cute. Place.

AND ...
IgotanemailfromCorrectionsaskingmetocomeinforanaptitudetestthingy! VERY exciting. A job working for Corrections would be amazing.

Another Orgami Symbol:

'Member when I had those bad dreams? Well to continue this boring theme I have going on my blog today, I looked up interpretations ... Here they are (please TRY to contain your excitement ... I'm serious! Please!):

Spiders To see a spider in your dream, indicates that you are feeling like an outsider in some situation. Or that you may want to keep your distance and stay away from an alluring and tempting situation.
Scared To dream that you are scared, indicates that you are experiencing self-doubt and feelings of incompetence. You may be feeling a lack of control. Anger often masquerades as fear, so also consider issues about which you are angry about in your waking life.

Bug To see a bug in your dream, suggests that you are worried about something. It is symbolic of your anxieties and/or fears. What is literally bugging you?
Eggs To see eggs in your dream, represents an idea that has emerged from your unconscious.
Mouth To see a mouth in your dream, signifies your need to express yourself or talk about an issue that's bothering you.

Birth To dream of giving birth suggests that you are giving birth to a new idea or project. It also represents new beginnings or some upcoming event. To dream that the mother dies during birth represents transformation. The dream represents the ending of one thing (death) and the new beginning of another thing (birth). To see a dead baby in your dream, symbolizes the ending of something that is part of you.

Hm.

Now I Am Going To Make An Orgami Symbol For 'Boring' ...

I feel kind of sad today. Not desperately full of grief, but sad nonetheless ... It's not that I miss him, really (ok I kind of do) ... I'm just sad that he turned out to be such a loser and I'm disappointed in myself for not seeing it. So I guess really what I 'miss' is the way I wanted him to be, not who he really is ... I really invested everything I had into it ... That was the biggest mistake ever ...

***

I still am feeling pretty brave about my Drop Zone extravaganza ... Almost makes me want to jump off the roof with string and a garbage bag ...

***

I have beaucoup of things to do before I move ... So excited to move -- I have the cutest little place and I'm so looking forward to it ... But don't think you're off the hook for visiting me all the time.

***

I told you I'm boring today ...

I Am The Bravest Ever ...

What Phil did for me this weekend:

"I'm comin' 'round to open the blinds
You can't hide here any longer
My God you need to rinse those puffy eyes
You can't last here any longer
And yes they'll ask you where you've been
And you'll have to tell them again and again
And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day
Well I promise you you'll see the sun again
And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness
And I promise you you'll see the sun again
Come on take my hand
We're going for a walk, I know you can
You can wear anything as long as it's not black
Please don't mourn forever
He's not coming back" (~Dido)


So Phil and I went out ...

Our shirts matched ... And I wore a necklace he bought for me when he was in New York!

And we stopped in at the Blarney Stone, where I went for my birthday ... Always good times there. The hot bartender that I love bought me a shot (*swoon*) and Phil told him that he'd like to set me up on a date with him ...

Phil and I danced ... It was really hot in there and since we were both wearing beaters, we shed our shirts. Phil got kicked out because of dress code but they said mine was fine ... Maybe it was the classy lace trim ... Mommy, I want a mullet ...

***

On Sunday, Jacob, Andrew, Carly, Than and I went to the horse races and then to Playland theme park ... This time I didn't bet on the pink horse because, well, who bets on a horse based on color?? (oh yah, me.) The pink horse won ... Dammit!

It started raining big fat raindrops so Than wore an IKEA bag from my trunk ...


And if you can even believe it, I went on the Drop Zone with Than (it's a 100 foot free fall -- can you even believe how stinkin' brave I am?! I never thought I'd do it!):

I'm brave.


*click*

You Know What?

I've been stupid.
No more benefit of the doubt.
No more hoping for a good explanation for all this crap.
There is no excuse -- you knew exactly what you were getting yourself into.
Fuck you for treating my son and me like we are disposable.
Fuck you for walking out with no explanation.
Fuck you for promises that ended up being empty.
Fuck you for sending me text messages these last two weeks telling me that you love me -- it's your actions, not words, that are screaming the loudest.
Fuck you for not having the balls to communicate.
You have proven that you're just a boy. Not a man.
I'll still cry. I'll still cry.
But now my tears will be hot with anger.

"I don't think war is noble. I don't like to think love is war. But I've got a big red cherry bomb I'd like to put through the mail slot of your front door." (Ani Difranco)

Things About Me #101 - 125

101. When I was little I wanted to become a counsellor -- I even had an appointment book so that I could be 'ready.'
102. My parents sent me to a counsellor who asked me to draw sadness.
103. I liked it but I don't think it helped.
104. When I used to play Barbies, their last name was always 'Cunningham.'
105. I like cooking a lot, but I don't really like baking.
106. Sometimes I just need someone to save the day.
107. I would rather die of cold than hot.
108. I think funny-ness is one of the most important things in life.
109. I worry that I'll become like my father.
110. I am excited to live by myself.
111. I think I'll get lonely living by myself (so those of y'all who know where I live have to visit me. I'll feed you!)
112. On a first date once, we were playing beach volleyball and when I went to hit the ball I punched my date in the gut.
113. We dated for awhile after that.
114. I receive lots of compliments on my spaghetti.
115. I don't really like spaghetti at all.
116. I can't do cartwheels.
117. I think burping is sometimes funny.
118. I don't think farts are funny.
119. Putting on makeup makes me feel better.
120. I broke my baby toe when I was younger, racing my sister to the bathroom.
121. I have smoked (tobacco) hookah twice in my life and I like it.
122. I really like Jewel Kilcher's poetry.
123. I have had dread locks and straight hair and short hair and curly hair and long hair and every color.
124. I really love coffee mate.
125. I ran away from home once until my dad counted to three.

Ex and Why ...

How can you 'love' another person for so long and then not have enough respect for them to talk about what happened instead of slamming the door on the whole situation and walking away? ... How can someone seem to have so much integrity and end up having none at all? ... What is love? ... How can you go in less than a week from I-want-to-spend-my-life-with-you to goodbye? ... What value do words have? ... Why won't this stop hurting?

Treasury Notes From My Mind ...

Britton has suggested a name change from "Sperm Donor Awareness Day" to "Sperm Donor Thanksgiving Day" ... I like it.

***

And I received this email from a stranger yesterday:

"I'll want to tell you this little story ... part one: She used the elevator like every day. But this Monday everything was different, because the elevator stoppt suddenly between the 83 und 84 floor.....and then the light also goes out and she was only with a strange man in the close elevator ....she try to speak to him.....but he didn't answering..... at the next moment she felt his breath nearly to her...oops
24 hours of darkness( that's my title) ....so far as the framework of the story..now it's time to fill the contents of the 2 persons ..oh what would happens if you and I would be located there?? Can we both imagine such a situation ?? I close my eyses and count to ten...why now?? nevertheless it's darkly here in the elevator!!!! about what will we speak the past ore the future??......
please dear Anika can you tell me something in part two?"

Suggestions for part II anyone?

How I Feel About Today Being 6-6-6:

Haiku Ambulance (by Richard Brautigan)
A piece of green pepper fell
off the wooden salad bowl:
so what?

Honestly I Just Like To Waste Time ...

1. Honestly, what color is your underwear? blue and grey.

2. Honestly, whats on your mind right now? My mind is fluttering between a few things: I'm thinking "don't be sad, Anika ... Krista has a funny picture just for meee! ... It's sunny outside, what should I do tonight? ... That was a great hockey game last night ... I have the best sister in the whole entire ... don't be sad, be mad! ... I need to put on makeup ... Deet-deet-deedle-deedle-deet-deet-deet-deet"

3. Honestly, what are you doing right now? Sitting at my desk, pondering the above thoughts ... Deciding whether to watch hockey tomorrow or venture into public and go to a barbecue ...

4. Honestly, what did you do today? Worked-eroo. When I dropped Jake off at school this morning he blew me a kiss as he was walking away with his friend. I sneaked coffee from my mom's house. I ate yogurt (but not the scrumptious yogurt you can only get at Granville Island)

5. Honestly, do you think you are attractive? I think I'm going to copy my friend Katie and say: "I think I'm quite fetching, but also kind of chunky. So if you're into fat chicks, I might be a fuckin' fox" ... But yesterday? My mom asked me if I've lost weight, which is the most amazing ever and wonderful thing to hear when you feel desolate.

6. Honestly, have you done something bad today? Not yet ... Hm. Is sneaking coffee bad?

7. Honestly, do you watch disney channel? No but I used to from time to time with the kids that I babysat. They were such fantastic and hilarious kids. And their dad was a stunt man.

8. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? Maybe a little bit. I'm jealous of people who are far away from here right now. And I'm jealous of Shari because she has the cutest and wonderful-est house ever. And I'm jealous of Jim because he's on vacation.

9. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time? Jacob (especially when he makes faces) ... My fam ... My amazing friends ... The sunshine ... Music ...

10. Honestly, do you bite your nails? Iamashamed.

11. Honestly, what is your mood right now? Mellow, for the moment.

12. Honestly, have you had an eating disorder? I don't think so ... I don't have the willpower.

13. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very minute? Yes! I would like to see Phil right now. Or Britton.

14. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret? Define 'dark.'

15. Honestly, do you hate someone right now? Yah I have to admit, I don't have much any use for my father's wife.

16. Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now? Jacob or Carly or my mom or Don or Phil or Krista or Shari or Firefighter Jen

17. Honestly, are you loyal? Yes. Except in hockey.

18. Honestly, are you in denial? Not in particular. Maybe in denial that I will fight you and I'm not even remotely afraid.

19. Honestly, do you like someone? If by 'like' you mean 'nothing,' then yes.

20. Honestly, does someone like you right now? Nope.

21. Honestly, do you smoke weed? I think someone should ask that question to my boss.

And Then I Yelled "SCREW YOU" And Laughed (Or At Least Smiled) About The Following Things:

- I witnessed my son -- my SEVEN YEAR OLD son -- flirting this weekend. Yep. He flirted. Normally I would be horrified. But he just hit it off with Shari's daughter Maya. They tickled each other's feet, they played badminton (translation in American: "badmitten" ... translation in Canadian: "horrible minton"). It was really undeniably cute.

- An oldie but a goodie. And I will fight you if you don't like it.

- I met someone this weekend that reads my blog and I didn't know her. Isn't that cool?

Darker Days ...

"Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, if you turn to Him then with praise, you will be welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away."
~C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

***

Maybe I didn't deserve love ...
Maybe I was the whole problem ...
Maybe I wasn't nice enough ... thoughtful enough ... funny enough ... pretty enough ... smart enough ... good enough ...

***

I am getting tired of
Dragging myself through the day just to get to the night
Staying awake at night just waiting for the morning
And trying to just get through the day again

How To Get Over A Guy ...

This post is courtesy of our guest blogger, Britton*.

Things that you should do this weekend:
1) Run "someone" over with your car.
2) Slash a car tire of "someone."
3) Call "someone" an asshole 5 times fast. Then do it again.
4) Subscribe to a bunch of embarrassing website mailing lists under "someone's" name and email address.
5) Light "someone's" house on fire and stand outside as it burns down
(Would it be too much to laugh at this point? NOPE!)
6) Laugh at this point.
7) Break into his house and steal all your stuff back. Preferably before the burning, but it's okay to do it after too.
8) Find "someone", kick him in the shins and run.
9) Do a bunch of stuff he hated ... like listening to Celine Dion.
10) "If I had a husband, it wouldn't be 'someone'." Play that game.

*I stole the guest blogging idea from Shari

Back To Our Regular Programming ...

So. Jacob has asthma and thus has puffers. And he may or may not have 'puffered' his forehead, which resulted in a hickey.

And for SOME reason he's a little bit embarrassed about the whole thing ...