Happy New Year (or, A Very Original Post Title)

Well, tomorrow at midnight 2005 is done. Not that many exciting things happened this year.
I ended a year long relationship.
Jacob turned 7 during a camping trip.
I turned 25 (which sent me plummeting into a cycle of 'oh-my-gosh-I'm-25-and-don't-even-have-a-boyfriend' to 'eeh-eeh-eeh-I've-managed-to-escape-the-talons-of-life-long-commitment' and back again).

I hope you all have a fun and safe night of celebrations! I thought I'd be multi-cultural and put 'Happy New Year' in some other languages for y'all:

×åñòèòà Íîâà Ãîäèíà <-- that's Bulgarian. Looks cool hey? Anyone know how to pronounce it? GELUKKIG NIEUWJAAR! <-- that's Dutch. I'm partly Dutch. Kiortame pivdluaritlo <-- that's Eskimo. Because here in Canada where we live in igloos, we're practically ALL eskimos. Onnellista Uutta Vuotta <-- that's Finnish. Phil's Finnish. Kenourios Chronos <-- that's Greek. Norma's Greek. Hauoli Makahiki Hou <-- that's Hawaiian. Andrew just got back from 2 weeks in Hawaii and Janie and I surprised him at the airport. She got him a 'Welcome Home' balloon. And in true Anika fashion, I got him an 'I Love You' balloon to freak out his mom. Is-Sena t- Tajba <-- that's Maltese. Isn't that a kind of dog? S Novim Godom <-- that's Russian. Because who hasn't wanted to be a Russian spy?
Heri Za Mwaka Mpyaº <-- that's Swahili. Wouldn't it be funny and cool to name your kid that?

Happy New Year, Imaginary Internet Friends!

New Years' Resolutions So Far ...

- go to the gym
- be nice
- save money (ahahahahaha)
- write letters to my friends that I don't see much
- fall in love with a good one
- have the person I fall in love with fall in love with me
- cast a spell on him if he doesn't
- stop staring at people when they're sleeping
- go to a Canucks game
- stop hating my father's wife [devil incarnate*] (ahahahaha)
- find out what I think

*hey, it's not New Years yet, is it?

Orphan Annie ...

This Christmas was so amazing. And I did have a great time with Jake, my sister, my mom and my step-dad. But I also felt orphaned.
It's not that they aren't enough.
They are.
My sister got invited to my father's Christmas dinner. I am not in any way surprised I wasn't invited. Nor would I have gone to their house.
I'm just still disappointed.
And I almost let it ruin my otherwise-wonderful Christmas.
I need to learn not to do that.

Best Moments of the Christmas Weekend:

- my friend Phil took me to the Canucks game on Friday -- the best game ever. I have never had more fun at a hockey game than that night.

- Jacob, looking at me with tears in his eyes on Christmas eve day: "Mom, I looked under the tree at our house and at Grammie's house and there's no presents for me from you." He thought I wasn't getting him anything! Poor little guy ... But when I told him that I just hadn't put them under the tree he said "even just one present from you is enough, mom" and it warmed my small heart.

- having our roommate Sunny, who's from Korea, join my fam for her first Canadian Christmas dinner -- she said it was a great memory for her and she 'felt like she was in a movie.' It was the cutest thing ever

- having a sleepover with my sister and simultaneously waking up on Christmas morning

- watching Jacob read his letter from Santa and giggle that Rudolph left half of the carrot to share with him. Kids are so full of wonder.

- playing games with the Nagtegaal's (my sister's boyfriend's family) on Christmas night. I won! Without cheating!

- getting to spend time with my family -- I. Love. Them.

Two More Sleeps!

I remember the Christmas when our Oma and Opa got us our first Cabbage Patch Dolls. I loved my doll. I wanted to be a mommy. I copied my mom (breastfeeding my sister) and 'breastfed' my doll.

I remember the awkward Christmases when Carly and I had to go back and forth between our mom's and our dad's. Just when I'd be settling in we'd have to leave ...

I remember the Christmas when the power went out and the turkey wasn't cooked enough and my father's wife was so angry and that made me glad.

I remember the Christmas when Jacob sat in a chair about 2 feet from the Christmas tree and just stared at it.

I remember the Christmas when I was bought so many amazing presents, but I didn't have money to get anyone much. I felt guilty.

I remember the Christmas I worked in retail and I didn't let a woman return something that wasn't bought at our store (she always tried scams like that). She told me we ruined her Christmas and that she didn't even want to celebrate anymore.

I remember the Christmas I spent at my friends' house. I think it hurt my mom a lot. I feel bad about it now.

I remember the Christmas ornament that was my absolute favorite. It was a tacky white treasure box thing with sparkles. U.G.L.Y. But I thought it was so beautiful and Carly and I used to argue over it.

Bring It On ...

So this Christmas is going to be my first in 4 years that I'm not dating someone. And today this a little bit sucks*. So I looked to Googlism to make me feel better since I'm usually not allowed to drink on the job. Yeah I know I've used that site before in my blog. But I'm doing it again and Idon'tcarewhatyousay. Here's the results:

Dating is a sport
Dating is awkward
Dating is fatally flawed
Dating: is it necessary?
Dating is preparation for divorce
Dating is hell in Korea
Dating is just dumb
Dating is my own kind of hell

Being single is cool
Being single is truly an opportunity to create the life that you really want
Being single is ok in a relationship**
Being single is not having to interrupt shopping
Being single is a gift from God
Being single is underrated
Being single is fugging great
Being single is less lonely than being in a bad relationship


Well ... I feel better already!

*some days I'm extremely thankful for not having to be an active member of the dating pool
**I did not know this!

Two Used to be My Favorite Number ...

But then Gino Odjick came along. And also, that was before I was on the baseball team that was sponsered by some woman named Karen Lovey. Yah. Karen. Lovey. How can you even expect to be taken seriously??? "Ooooh ... The Karen Loveys are going to hug us to death!" Who's ever heard of a Lovey making a home run?! It's ridic. Completely ridic!

*ahem* But I digress. I was tagged ...

2 names you go by:
1. Ani
2. Wench

2 parts of your heritage:
1. Dutch
2. Canadian

2 things that scare you
1. Karen Lovey
2. Tom Hanks (he is just. So. Creepy. Forrest Gump?! -- CREEP!!!)

2 of your everyday essentials:
1. tequila
2. anti-psychotic drugs

2 things you are wearing right now:
1. my lunch. Seriously, I spilled it.
2. a necklace (as if THAT was even a mystery)

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment):
1. the local high school band
2. K-Fed

2 of your favorite songs (at the moment):
1. the 'We are Siamese if you Please' song from Lady and the Tramp
2. singing to Jacob: "Jacob Malossa in the Deep Blue Sea" sung to the tune of Baby Beluga. And his name isn't actually Jacob Malossa. It's just a nic.

2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love):
1. presents
2. no restraining orders against me

2 truths:
1. I have one more class before I have a Psychology degree
2. I don't know anything

2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex):
1. Smiling appeals to me.
2. Going cross-eyed but not really being cross-eyed

2 of your favorite hobbies:
1. Collecting eyelashes
2. Playing the kazoo

2 things you want really badly:
1. Special powers
2. Goodness

2 places you want to go on vacation:
1. Cleveland
2. Texas

2 things you want to do before you die:
1. Sneeze twelve times in a row
2. Buy an extra large box of extra small condoms (because Andrew and I joke about it all the time, but one of us really should just do it)

2 ways that you are stereotypically a chick:
1. I go to the spa on the way to work every day
2. I call my dad 'daddy' (*shudder* I'm JOKING)

2 ways that you are sterotypically not a chick:
1. I have a penis
2. I colour with crayons

2 things you are thinking about now:
1. I don't like Tyra Banks' voice
2. I wonder how I can give Janie a paper cut without her noticing.

2 stores you shop at:
1. my sister's closet
2. the bank

Things I Thought About While I Watched King Kong:

- King Kong kind of reminds me of my stepdad. Not in looks. But in the way he seems like he's mean and scary, but in the end he's on the good team.

- "I thought Coldplay was on the soundtrack ... This isn't Chris Martin ..."

- "I hope those creepy cannibals don't make me scared of the dark"

- Naomi Watts looks like Nicole Kidman a lot

- Whenever I watch movies with love and stuff I get this weird prickly feeling in the palms of my hands. It is strange. It all began with the stepbrother scene in Clueless.

- "I love movies with scary dinosaurs!"

- "I've sat through this movie that's 3 1/2 hours long and I haven't even gotten up to pee!"

How Can You Not Love the Internet ...

... when you can find stuff like this?

You Know How This Feels ...

I'm getting a cold again, but luckily I sound worse than I feel. I sound like a frog but I feel like Anika-with-a-sore-throat.

Anyways.

You know when you've had a fling with someone, and it was more in the name of re-he-heally bad judgment than make-out-banditry?
And it was over pretty much before it began and you were initially sad but then you were elated because you don't have to spend the rest of your life, or any significant amount of time with this person?
And time goes by and they still, for some reason unbeknownst to you, think you aren't over them and assume that you think they are God's gift to you?
And you don't want to be really mean, but you kind of want to kick them in the head because hi, you aren't attracted to them physically or emotionally or any other way and they just don't get it?
It's annoying.

Wrong-O

Yesterday I went to the gym for the first time since 2002 (I know, I'm lazy. But I'm just not destined to be an aerobics instructor or fitness guru. I haven't even weighed myself since just after I had Jacob). Anyways, I ran for 20 minutes straight. And I celebrated by eating an Oh Henry.

Also, I got this email recently. Compelling offer, no? Here it is, unedited:

"If you haven't noticed im not much for selling myself well im not. The road rage thing made me laught thats true but the picture of you made me the most curious... you look like you dont know me at all. go figure. im one of those guys that single girls dont know why im still single. neither do i but i still am and for the most part im really okay with it but there are times i wish i had someone just to hang out with..like how many fellas go to the movies alone? i son't know cause i don't do and ive been waiting to see wedding crashers for eight years now...you see it just isn't fair some times!!! oh well. talk to you later?"

I don't even get it.

A Time to Laugh and a Time to Cry ...

Last night Jacob and I went on a date to the local Junior 'A' hockey game. As the teams warmed up the hot referee [who'd have thunk refs could be good looking?!] and linesmen sat in front of us and were talking. The ref turned around and said to Jake, "hey, buddy, do you want a puck? Come down to the bottom of the stairs after the first period and I'll bring one to you." How cute, hey?

Anyways, Jacob got the puck and for the rest of the game I felt so bad for the ref when people shouted obscenities and yelled at him to open his eyes. I've never felt bad for a hockey referee before. I guess there's a first time for everything ...

Tanks God It's Friday!

Well ... A couple of you asked about Narnia. I must say I went into it with a cynical mindset. I mean, I grew up with the BBC's version of The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe. The Lucy in that one has to be the ugliest girl I have ever seen, which is only made worse by the fact that she is So. Damn. Annoying. For real, she is.
ANYWAYS ... I absolutely positively loved Narnia. Lucy is cute even. And it's funny. AND the lion in this one doesn't look like one of those stuffed animals you win at a carnival, which is an added bonus. I recommend it, folks. I was going to take Jacob to it because he's been reading the book, but I'm glad I didn't because there are some scary parts fo sho. I even screamed (hard to believe, I know).

I'll leave you with this:


It's Jacob's Christmas card he made for his teacher. In case you're unfamiliar with 7-year-old writing, it says "You are one of the best teachers that I had I think. I do not know about the other children. From Jacob"

I couldn't make him change it, could I?

Progress Report ...

Sleeps left until Christmas: 10

Knitting projects completed for Christmas presents: 2 1/2 out of 3

Christmas cards I still need to send: 1 (to my grandma. I put the wrong name on her card and I've been told it's rude to white-out the name and write "Grandma" over top)

Hours alotted for final exam last night: 3

Hours I took to write final exam: 1 1/2 (I'm ok with that. I was getting really fidgety and wiggly by the end and I had a headache so I knew I needed to pack it up)

Times my sister has been to see the Narnia movie: 3 (last count was Tuesday)

Times I have been to see the Narnia movie: 1

Number of times I have dry heaved this morning upon hearing Britney Spears is coming out with a song entitled "Daddy, I Love You": manymanymany

People who cut me off on my way to work this morning: 3

Times I fingered them or gave them a thumbs up: 0 (I must be getting into the Christmas spirit!)

Don't Quit Your Day Job ...

So Jacob cut his own hair last night. I took pictures but they don't do it justice ...

I couldn't stop laughing. He was (obviously) crying: "I was praying that God would put it back the way it was, but it wasn't going back!" ...

My roommate tried to fix it this morning. Poor little guy. Buuuuut maybe we'll get a Christmas hamper out if it ...

Conversations in My World ...

me: Jake, I'm sorry for being ugly this morning. I really don't like mornings and I'm not so good at them.
Jacob: That's ok ... I don't like nights.

***
me: Does my car sound like it's low on oil?
mechanic: No, not too low.
me: Does it feel like it needs steering fluid?
mechanic: No it's steering fine.
me: What about driving fluid?
mechanic: You've still got a half a tank of gas.

Obviously I know a lot about cars.

We Met in an Apple-Cinnamon-Recipe Chatroom

Look at these cute little guys. I think pandas are great because they're so aloof and slow and just chomp on their bamboo in slow motion all day. Ok, maybe that's not what they really do, but that's what they do in my world.

Someone Call an Exorcist ...

Sometimes when something is so ridiculously absurd but also very damaging and horrible and hurtful and it is happening to someone that I love and there's nothing I can do about it and it's because of another person who is pretty much the devil incarnate ...

I can't take my mind off it.

Oh Le Horreur!

For you sillies who don't know what 'natch' is, it's 'naturally' but without the 'urally.' Kind of a slang, if you will ...

So ... This morning I heard that there's new studies that say Canadians have more road rage than Americans. What the dick*? I'd like them to reconsider.


Here we have Exhibit A. Now, I admit, the 'daggers moving from my eyes' is a little bit of a giveaway of a teeeeeensie weeeeeensie bit of anger. But it's the guy's own fault!!

Here we have Exhibit B. This one could be a little damning just because I actually admitted to road rage.

Here we have Exhibit C. This is where the thumbs-up-instead-of-fingering-people was introduced. I. Am. So proud of myself for being so nice.

Here we have Exhibit D. Ok, so I admitted to really bad road rage. But I didn't yell or finger or anything. Just the trusty thumbs up, yessiree.

Here we have Exhibit E. Just some innocent racing.

Here we have Exhibit F. Just some innocent racing again, whilst trying to get the dick* away from the sketchy 'Bullet Transport' truck. Yikes.

Well, all in all, friends, I don't know if I have a significant-significant-significant amount of road rage. Certainly not more than the average Canadian.


*'dick' is clearly 'dickens' without the 'ens.'

I am an Angel, Sent by God ...

I secretly like the show Touched by An Angel. I think it's because when I was 17 and pregnant I was randomly watching the show and there was a teenage girl on it and she was pregnant and in chaos and the angels came to help her find her way and to tell her that her baby wasn't a mistake. I cried.

In other news, Jacob got his report card. His teacher made two, count them, TWO spelling mistakes. Weird, no?

I'm eating a mandarin orange and it tastes like a grapefruit to me. Maybe I should put sugar on it.

Challenged ...

I love* how when I'm single everyone automatically thinks I need some assistance or something.

My Oma always asks if I have met anyone tells me the story about her breaking up with my Opa because she "felt like it" when they started going out** and sometimes life is like that.

My boss just told me that her parents' neighbor has a son who's "good-looking and nice and almost 30 and single and brilliant and has a good job" and they want to set me up. Plez. I don't even wear makeup to work!

I have PMS and all I want to eat is melted cheese.

*and by 'love' I mean 'sometimes it makes me laugh and sometimes it makes me want to rip off the face of whoever's talking to me, depending on my current mood'

**it really is a cute story. They have the most amazing love story ever.

Nice Package ...

The other morning on my way to work I was stopped at a red light beside one of those cube-van-things. The guy kept revving his engine so I looked over. The door had "Bullet Transport" written in sharpie on it. 'Yikes,' I thought.

I raced him anyways.